Building Conversation Starters

Purpose: Break the ice, build rapport, establish common ground, demonstrate you've done your homework

Good conversation starters:

Poor conversation starters:

Data: Alma mater field shows you attended same university

Starter: "I noticed we're both [School] alumni! What year did you graduate? I was there from [years]. Did you go to any of the [tradition/event]?"

Natural transition: "Many [School] alumni I work with value [university value tied to financial planning, e.g., long-term thinking, education priorities]. How has that influenced your approach to [financial topic]?"

Works best when: You genuinely attended or have real connection to school

Data: Current employer, job title, industry

Starter: "I saw you're at [Company]. I work with several [job title/department] professionals there. How are you finding [recent company news, growth, challenge]?"

Natural transition: "Many [profession] at [company] are navigating [specific planning challenge like equity comp, retirement plan options]. Is that something you've thought about?"

Works best when: You actually know their company/industry

Data: Interest areas, sport affinities, hobbies

Starter: "I noticed you're into [interest]. I am too! [Genuine question about the interest]."

Examples:

Natural transition: "Many [interest] enthusiasts I work with prioritize [financial goal related to interest, e.g., 'active retirement for travel,' 'funding hobbies in retirement']. How does that fit into your long-term planning?"

Data: Children, grandchildren, ages

Starter: "I see you have [number] children. What ages? [Follow-up question about their stage]."

Examples:

Natural transition: "With [children situation], have you thought about [education funding, protection planning, legacy planning]?"

Data: Recent job change, home purchase, marriage, etc.

Starter: "Congratulations on [life event]! How's [relevant question about the transition]?"

Examples:

Natural transition: "Major life changes like [event] often create opportunities to review finances. Have you had a chance to [relevant action like rollover 401(k), update insurance, etc.]?"

Data: City, neighborhood, state

Starter: "I see you're in [area]. How long have you been there? I [live/work/have clients] in [nearby area]."

Regional topics: Local news, sports teams, community events, weather

Natural transition: "[Location] creates some interesting planning considerations, particularly [state taxes, cost of living, local market, etc.]. How familiar are you with [relevant planning topic]?"

Data: Age, upcoming eligibility milestones

Starter: "I noticed you're [age/approaching milestone]. That's [positive framing]."

Examples:

Natural transition: "Have you started planning for [Medicare, retirement, RMDs, etc.]? Most people find [specific challenge], and it helps to start early."

First meeting structure:

Why: Trust comes before transactions. People hire advisors they like and trust.

Ask open-ended questions:

Listen for hooks: Pay attention to what they emphasize or get animated about, then explore:

Reflect back:

From shared interest: "That's awesome that you [interest]. You know, many [interest] enthusiasts I work with prioritize [related financial goal]. Is that important to you too?"

From family discussion: "It's clear your family is a priority. How does that show up in your financial planning?"

From career discussion: "It sounds like you've built an impressive career. Have you had a chance to optimize [relevant benefit like equity comp, retirement plan]?"

From life event: "Transitions like [event] are great times to make sure everything is aligned financially. When's the last time you reviewed [relevant area]?"

Opener: "Hi [Name], this is [You] from [Firm]. I sent you an email last week about [topic]. Did you have a chance to see it?"

[If yes] "Great! I'm curious—what stood out to you?" [If no] "No problem. I'll keep it brief. I reached out because [personalized reason]. Does [topic] resonate with your current situation?"

Opener: "Hi, I'm [Name]. How do you know [host/organization]?"

Follow-up: "What do you do for work?" [Listen] "That's interesting! How did you get into [field]?"

Transition: "I work with a lot of [profession]. They often deal with [common challenge]. Is that something you think about?"

Opener: "Hi [Name], [Referrer] suggested we connect. They mentioned you're [situation that prompted referral]."

Build rapport: "Tell me about [situation]. How long have you been thinking about this?"

Mutual connection: "How do you know [Referrer]? They speak very highly of you."

Opener: "Hi [Name], I came across your profile and noticed [specific detail]. [Relevant comment or question about that detail]."

Example: "Hi Sarah, I came across your profile and noticed we both attended Michigan. Go Blue! I work with several U-M alumni in the [City] area on financial planning. Would you be open to connecting?"

Don't:

Do:

You: "Hi Michael, great to meet you. I saw on LinkedIn we're both Wisconsin Badgers! When were you there?"

Them: "I graduated in 2010. You?"

You: "2008! Small world. Did you ever go to the [tradition]?"

[Build rapport for 3-5 minutes about school, shared experiences]

You: "I also noticed you recently joined Google as a Director. Congrats! How are you liking it so far?"

Them: [Shares about new role]

You: "That's exciting. I work with several tech executives, and job transitions often bring up questions about 401(k) rollovers and equity comp. Have you had a chance to sort through those details yet?"

Them: [Opens planning conversation or deflects]

Natural flow: Personal → Shared interest → Professional → Planning opportunity

You: "Hi Jennifer, I saw you recently bought a home in Edina. Congratulations! How's settling in going?"

Them: "Thanks! It's been great but hectic."

You: "I bet. Moving is always more work than expected. What made you choose Edina?"

Them: "Great schools for our kids."

You: "How old are your kids?"

Them: "7 and 10."

You: "Perfect ages! Are they enjoying the new neighborhood?"

[Build rapport about kids, schools, neighborhood]

You: "You know, I work with a lot of families in Edina with kids those ages. Between the mortgage, college savings, and everything else, there's a lot to juggle. How are you thinking about balancing all those priorities?"

Them: [Opens planning conversation]

Natural flow: Life event → Family → Shared community → Planning priorities

Use conversation starters in subject lines and opening lines:

Use immediately after greeting: "Hi [Name], thanks for taking my call. I'll be brief. I noticed [conversation starter]..."

In connection request: "Hi [Name], I saw [conversation starter]. Would love to connect!"

At networking events, meetings: Lead with conversation starter, not business card exchange.

Before outreach:

Total prep: 5-10 minutes for high-priority prospects